nintendoggystyle: what beautiful weather outside im gonna close the curtains
darrynek: darrynek: i need to stop talking to myself so much no you don’t
trapghoul: the fact that women’s healthcare seems to be a joke among men is sickening. lance armstrong loses a testicle and everyone’s like “oh man must have been so hard for him poor guy losing his manhood LIVESTRONG” and angelina jolie gets the jokes after her mother died from cancer and she’s trying to protect herself????
apracticalman: I’m just saying, the next Star Trek movie needs to be a 3 hour epic space-opera adaptation of The Trouble With Tribbles
circumcisions: procrastinators are able to do 30 minutes of work in 8 hours and 8 hours of work in the 30 minutes before it’s due
strengthovercomespain: if you kiss my neck, you can softly hear the sound of my clothes being thrown to the other side of the room.
airagorn: dumb story because i think i’m funny we were watching a movie in school and there was a scene where this guy was driving over lava and they kept showing close up shots of the tires catching on fire and i started laughing and my friend kept asking me what was so funny and when i finally composed myself i took a deep breathe and whispered ‘hot wheels’
you had me at “i’ll choke you”
that-1-cactus: But I already own an Xbox “One”
owlcitee: pitbullfan: “youre gay? you dont look gay” well shit wtf does a gay look like
westbor0baptistchurch: tootsied: iapprovethispost: tootsied: I don’t give a damn about my reputation [LOUD GUITAR] You’re living in the past it’s a new generation [LOUD GUITAR] [SHREK ATTACKS THE KNIGHTS AT LORD FARQUAD’S CASTLE]